I'm in my bed at 1:44 AM on New Year's Day. Writing this from my phone but connected to my server's notetaking app because duhhh. Listening to Let The Light In by Lana Del Rey. Vanessa is sitting here with me.

I don't really know what I want to say. But I want to say something!

Some thoughts that hit me over the course of the night:

  • Watching Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen queen it up on CNN felt like looking into my future. Hard pill to swallow. I first wrote this bullet with deliberately wordy and smart sounding points about coastal elite faggotry and eventually scrapped them. It's the special type of faggotry I find problematic (due to its focus on status, the gay guy torso, doctor shopping, and boutique substance use in the pursuit of cold sex and likes) but simultaneously endorse every day on my Instagram story like an evangelist. I hate it but it's all I do. Womp.
  • Crocheting makes me really happy. Twenty minutes ago I finished the top of my first crochet rose! It taught me a good bit about patience.
  • I'm really excited to get my new MP3 player (the Innioasis Y1) and attempt to go streaming-free for one week using my self-hosted music library! I'll be writing more about this later in the month. I also plan on 3D printing a new housing for it too :)
  • There's an evil that exists within Chappell Roan that I can't quite name. Although her music is really good, I never want to listen to it for this reason. Someone think through this for me please.
  • Every single thing about dating feels like a satanic humiliation ritual. I've started to look at every man like Mr. B*ast getting ready to torture someone for a million dollar prize. What even is the prize anymore????? This shit has GOT to stop.

Anyway! Happy new year.

Love always - deeply, ferociously, tremendously, until it makes you dizzy.

  • Joey